I’ve lived at the City of Ten Thousand Buddhas (CTTB) for five years, and I’ve held the precepts for most of that time. The precepts have taught me and changed me far more than anything else and so I’d like to emphasize that they’re fundamental and important to the transformation that is cultivation. I’d like to share some stories with you on my personal experiences with the precepts.

The first precept prohibits killing. This precept wasn’t so much of a problem to hold, as I was already pretty respectful of life. For me, the precept was just the embodiment of a reverence for life—to not take life for granted and step on bugs. I didn’t do a whole lot of that anyway, so the precept against killing was quite easy. I had done a lot of vegetarian eating before, even though I wasn’t completely vegetarian. But, one summer a few years ago, I was hot, tired, and trying to relax. There was this mosquito that was in my room, just flying around my face, and I tried shooing it away. I was trying to read, and it was just bugging me. And finally it landed on my arm, and I slapped it. I just killed it. Usually we don’t kill mosquitoes; we don’t kill anything at CTTB. It really struck me as a very powerful moment. Usually people don’t think twice about swatting a mosquito, but after holding the precepts for so long and really respecting living things, my action really shook and disturbed me because I realized that there was this living thing, and just because it was annoying me, I killed it. I took its life because it was annoying me. It seemed like this was unjust. The mosquito was just hungry, as every living thing gets. I’ve been bitten before, and it’s really not that bad, but this time I killed it. I felt how I’d cut off my connection with my self-nature, and so after that I really had a much greater appreciation for that precept.

I have another story about the 3 rd precept, the one against sexual misconduct. I’d gone back to visit my hometown, and was hanging out with some friends of mine who were getting ready to go to a party. We went to a store, where everyone was buying beer. One of the girls noticed me not looking for one, so she asked me if I was getting something. I replied, “No, I don’t drink.” She asked, “Why don’t you drink?” I replied, “Well, I’m a Buddhist, and I’ve taken these vows called precepts, one of which is to not drink.” I was really surprised at her response. “Oh, my dad holds those precepts!” she said. She was respectful about it. Some of the other girls were listening in and said in a very sensual way, “Does that means we can’t do anything with you, huh?”, and I said, “No you can’t.” It was hard to say, but I had to say it. The other girls were not as understanding. They weren’t disrespectful, but they saw me as a kind of game, to see if they could get me to break my precepts.

While I was able to tell them that I held the precepts, at the same time, desire can be very, very strong. In holding all the precepts, I can’t just restrict myself and hold back from what I feel I desire to do. For myself, I have to understand why the precepts are there. Even though I didn’t hold them in the past, when taking them, I knew intuitively that it is better to uphold them. So I took the precepts with that mindset. But I had not yet understood what the wisdom was behind them? “Why did the Buddha say it was so much better to hold the precepts than not?” Back at the party, when I was being tested, I had to understand the precept then and there, because serious doubts were arising in my mind. “What’s wrong with having a one night stand?” “Why can’t I go out and do this?” I really had to investigate the precept. I concluded that although sex can be extremely enjoyable, it is also a very powerful act that brings babies into the world. Also, it is disrespectful of the extreme intimacy of the act when people go into it frivolously. Therefore, the way I interpreted the precept was that one should make a commitment first through marriage, before you end up being committed because of a child. I saw that the wisdom behind the precept is to make that commitment before you do the act that can have lifelong consequences. D|M

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